14 signs and red flags you’re merely an option and not your partner’s priority

Romantic relationships can be tricky, especially when things get rocky and it isn’t easy reading someone else’s mind. Often what happens is that one partner suddenly realizes that they aren’t really a priority anymore but just an option, and that they’re being treated as if they’re no longer all that important. Long before you realize you aren’t a priority anymore, you probably saw signs but dismissed them. It’s common for people to deceive themselves into thinking everything is okay. But if you’re seeing some of the red flags we describe here, you may want to have a little talk with your partner.

A lack of interest in what’s going on with your life, career, health, family, and anything you’re passionate about could be a sign that they just don’t care that much about you. Likewise, if they’re bored or detached when they’re with you; they may even say they have better things to do. Related to this, another common warning sign is if they don’t return calls, texts, or e-mails. If they really cared, you’d hear back reasonably promptly.

If a partner never wants to make plans ahead of time or hang out socially, you have to wonder. It’s pretty normal to eat out, go to a movie, or spend time together with friends, not just “my place or yours.” Maybe they’ve even told you they’re also seeing someone else and have made excuses about why the two of you can’t be in an exclusive relationship. More trouble! Maybe you cater to their needs but they ignore yours. You really shouldn’t be making all the sacrifices. Yet if you threaten to leave them, they always know how to manipulate you into staying. Shadiness or secretiveness is bad news, too. If they constantly tell little lies, it’s probably part of a bigger lie.

Basically, if someone makes you feel bad about yourself, unhappy, sad, depressed, or unfulfilled and if your gut says you’re being used it’s probably right.

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