California sales pitch annoys an old Texas lady — she gets the last laugh

The Lone Star State’s official motto is “friendship.” But don’t abuse the privilege: after all, you’ve probably heard people say: “Don’t mess with Texas.” Perhaps we should add: don’t mess with Texas ladies. Annoy them and they’ll get their revenge. A vacuum cleaner salesman from California learned this the hard way and the experience surely left a bad taste in his mouth.

Answering an unexpected knock on the door, a little old Texas lady found a well-dressed young man standing on her doorstep. He was toting a brand new vacuum cleaner, the chrome on it just as shiny as could be. “Good morning, ma’am. If I can, I’d like take a couple minutes of your time to show you…” Clearly annoyed, the old lady snapped, “Go away, sonny! My carpet sweeper works fine. Anyway, I ain’t got the money to spend on a contraption like that. Now, git!”

But this salesman was nothing if not determined, maybe a little too determined. With cockroach like reflexes, he wedged a foot in the door and muscled it open. “Now, ma’am, I know what you’re thinking. But this isn’t just any vacuum cleaner. This is the latest, greatest high-powered model, straight from the factory back home in California. If this baby can’t vacuum up a mess, well, it’s a mess that can’t be vacuumed up. Here, I’ll demonstrate.” Before the old Texas lady could do anything, the salesman had slopped the contents of a bucket of horse manure onto her hall carpet! “Ma’am. If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t get up all traces of that manure from your carpet, I will personally eat whatever is left. I swear!” With a twinkle in her eye, the old lady said, “Now wait here while I go get a spoon. I hope you’re hungry, sonny. See, they cut off my electricity this morning…”

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