Tim Hawkins is a hilarious comedian who mixes family values and his own Christian faith into his routine. He often parodies famous songs by changing the lyrics to get big laughs. In this routine, Tim reads a list of alternative cuss words that Christians can use whenever they need help.
Tim stands onstage during his routine and tells the audience that he sent out a question on Facebook asking for the best responses for Christian alternative cuss words.
He says, “I got over ten thousand responses from you freaks.” Tim smiles as he lifts his phone. He says he narrowed it down to a good 100 words, which he begins to read to the crowd.
Tim rapidly fires off the first few, saying, “Shucks, rats, shizzle, and toot.” He crouches down, does a funny Bart Simpson voice, and repeats, “Aww, toot!” The audience loves it!
Tim says another suggestion, “Crapola.” He laughs and says, “I guess that’s Spanish for crap.” Then, he does a salsa dance while singing “Crapola.” Tim rattles off more alternative cuss words, saying, “Good gravy, good grief, great googly-moogly.”
Then, he gets to say, “Son of a motherless goat,” and he laughs and says, “Wow, that’s not even possible.” He roams around the stage, acting and talking like a goat, and yelps, “Mama? Mama? She gone.”
Tim gets to the biggest one and says, “Crud muffins.” Then, he starts to talk like a child and says, “Hey, y’all wake up! Mama made crud muffins. You’re gonna miss the crud muffins. Get in here!” The crowd laughs along with him and his hysterical routine about alternative cuss words.
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