Grandma on the witness stand: her testimony nearly makes the prosecutor faint

If you’re having a bad day, whether it’s stressful, overwhelming, too long, or full of little aggravations, a nice big laugh is exactly what you need. This hilarious story comes to us from a small town in Kansas. It’s the sort of town where everyone knows everyone else and if there’s any dirty laundry — and there always is — someone is guaranteed to know all about it…

One of those items of dirty laundry ended up in court. The prosecutor, a classic big fish in a small pond, puffed up like a bullfrog and called his first witness, an elderly lady. Once she was on the stand, he asked, “Mrs. Brown, do you know me?” Her reply: “Why, yes, Mr. Robbins, I’ve known you since you were a little boy, and to be honest, you’re a big disappointment. You lie constantly, you cheat on your wife, you love manipulating people, and always talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot but you’re so dumb you don’t even realize you’ll never amount to more than a two-bit paper push. Sure, I know you…”

The prosecutor was ashen-faced, but then he had a bright idea. “Okay, Mrs. Brown, do you know the defense attorney?” Looking in the direction he pointed, she replied, “Why of course! I’ve known Mr. Higgins since he was in grade school. He’s incredibly lazy, bigoted, and drinks a lot, even for a lawyer. He can’t relate to people at all and he’s the worst attorney in the county, maybe the whole state. He’s cheated on his wife with four women that I know of, one of them’s your wife, by the way. Yeah, I know Mr. Higgins.”

The judge, gavel trembling in his hand, summoned both lawyers to the bench and hissed, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, by God, I’ll send you to jail for the rest of your life!”

Did you get a big laugh from this old lady’s brutal honesty? Let us know in the Facebook comments and don’t forget to like and share!