M*A*S*H was a war dramedy series that ran on CBS for eleven seasons. The show followed military doctors and their support staff stationed in South Korea during the Korean war.

A man in a green jacket smiles at a woman with long blonde hair in a kitchen setting.

Though the series often dealt with dark themes like war, death, and loss, it leaned heavily on situational comedy and was broadcast with a laugh track.

Arguably, the funniest character on the show was Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, who was played by Alan Alda. Alda won five Primetime Emmys for his acting, directing, and writing on the series.

A man in a military uniform stands addressing a group of people in a dimly lit room.

Hawkeye gives some of his best one-liners, insults, and pranks in this compilation video. Though a serious surgeon, Hawkeye often clashes with the more reserved staff outside of the operating room.

Hawkeye and fellow surgeon Frank Burns have the most antagonistic relationship on the show, so naturally, Hawkeye bothers him the most. Hawkeye goes so far as to write on the photo Burns has of his mother: "Dear Frank, Dad was not your father."

A man in a green jacket is talking on a black phone in a cluttered room.

In another scene, Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan prepares to give Hawkeye an injection. She asks him to roll up his sleeve, but he refuses. He tells her he wants his in "his tushie." He explains that he can't take the pain, so he needs the shot in his fleshy part.

He hurls much of his wit at Frank, telling him in one scene that he's "surgically incompetent" and he wouldn't allow Frank to operate on his dandruff. This is four minutes of laughter for all fans of Hawkeye and sarcasm.

You'll find more Hawkeye Pierce's one-liners and comebacks on AmazonAd. We make a small cut when you buy through that link. It is how a little outfit like this keeps going.