‘The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson’ welcomed comedian Rodney Dangerfield. Rodney walks out and says, “What a crowd? What a crowd, huh? You know me, I love crowds. When I was a kid, my house was always crowded, always people around, you know?”

A man in a suit and tie stands in front of a colorful curtain backdrop.

Rodney said his family was the hardworking, dumb kind. He said no one liked his family so much that they once went camping, and the animals started a forest fire!

Rodney says life isn’t easy, saying, “To me, life is just a bowl of piss.” Then, he says, “With me, nothing comes easy. My wife, she don’t help either. You know, every time I take a few drinks, she hides the bottle. Oh, I admit I’m a bad drinker.”

A man in a suit adjusts his tie while another man in a suit sits at a desk with a microphone and coffee mug.

Rodney continues, “I’m not nasty or nothing, but I tell you, when I drink the next day, I do two things. I try and locate my car, and I gotta bring back the car I took.” After he sits, Johnny says Rodney is very well-dressed. Then, he says, “But you know they have colors now, right? They have suits in the blues and oh.” They laugh as Johnny continues explaining the wonders of suit colors.

Rodney complements the other guest’s mustache and says, “I broke up with a girl once who wanted me to grow a mustache. Yeah, I told her, “Must we do everything together?”

A man in a suit sits with legs crossed, appearing relaxed, while another leans forward, seemingly in distress, during a...

Later, he says commitment is everything and asks if Johnny and Ed have been together for fifteen years. Rodney jokes, “No children?” Johnny laughs and says, “No, it’s not as if we haven’t tried.”

Rodney says he has no togetherness in his house. He took his kid to Coney Island one day for a nice day out and gave them ten bucks, and Rodney told them to do whatever they wanted with it all day. Then, he says, “The kid took a cab home!”