Lyle Waggoner stands in a trench coat and fedora to introduce another ‘James Blonde’ spy mystery on ‘The Carol Burnett Show.’ The hysterical skit is called ‘Dr. Nose.’ A woman calls, ‘James…James Blonde.’ Tim Conway comes in with a huge blonde wig on to portray the spy James Blonde. The attractive lady says she can’t stand being without him.
She kisses him, and they fall on the ground kissing while another woman walks in. She says the same thing as the first woman. James says, ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’ Then the ladies leave, and Tim opens the door for a man in a long coat and a fedora with a blueprint. He shows him his new invention, and it’s a finger gun. James Blonde tries it, but he can’t turn it off. James says, ‘Oh, the safety is on the cuticle.’
Carol Burnett walks in dressed in a tight gold outfit, and she is there to keep James Blonde from the laboratory. She says she’s too hot for him to not be distracted, and they battle over who is hotter. They have a kissing contest, and Tim pins her on the floor, then he leaves for the lab.
Dr. Nose walks out at the lab, and his nose is ridiculously long. He gets angry, and he breaks things when hearing about James Blonde. James drops in, looks directly into the man’s nose, and asks, ‘Where’s Dr. Nose?’ Tim breaks character and starts giggling. Then, James threatens to paralyze Dr. Nose’s assistant Vicki Lawrence with one kiss. James tries, but she is wearing fake plastic lips for protection invented by Dr. Nose specifically for this reason.
Vicki takes James Blonde away and ties him up. Dr. Nose is gonna execute him with a laser beam. He says, ‘The laser beam, do you know what it does?’ James says, ‘No, I don’t think so.’ The crowd laughs, and Carol returns and begs Dr. Nose not to kill James. Dr. Nose doesn’t listen, and she kicks him and frees James. There’s a standoff, and Dr. Nose says, ‘Don’t move, or I’ll shoot from my secret nose gun.’
Carol tries to distract him and kisses him. She moves his nose out of the way all the way to his ear and tickles his nose with salt. He sneezes and dies because he accidentally shot himself in the head with his nose.
James Blonde tells Carol they’ll never be spys again, and he throws his spy stuff away and says, ‘From now on, it’s just you and me,’ while pointing his finger. He accidentally shoots both of them with his finger gun, and the audience laughs at the wild ending.
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